Cultural Lessons and Coffee Orders

A quick internet search will tell you that Italians are among the highest consumers of coffee in the world.

Did I know this before embarking on my Rome mission?

Not really.

I am usually a one-cup-a-day, "I just drink it for the taste" kind of coffee person. But you know how the saying goes: when in Rome…

I had already had my one cup that morning over breakfast at the hotel. Fast forward a couple of hours after lunch, it was well past 11 a.m. During a break in the client meeting, one of the team members kindly asked if I would like a coffee.

Since we were still in the forming phase of group development (shoutout to Tuckman), I decided to lean into politeness and rapport over preference.

“Sure,” I said.

And I should have left it there.

“May I have a cappuccino, please?”

The words echoed across the room of Italians… met with a look that told me I was in straight violation. Then came the response, delivered with theatrical disbelief:

“Cappuccino?!”

The taboo order was repeated back to me, question mark and all. I could tell instantly I had crossed a cultural line. I just didn’t know where. So, I doubled down.

“Yes. Cappuccino.”

The order was delivered. And then, so was the cultural lesson.

Turns out, in Italy, milky coffee drinks like cappuccinos are strictly a before 11am affair. My post lunch request was received as mildly scandalous by local standards.

From that day onward, any coffee requests after 11 would be led with:

“Cappuccino for Dalton?”

And I would politely decline.

No, I was not switching to espresso. My taste buds are simply not built for that kind of intensity.

When I reflect on this cultural mishap, I think it accelerated my rapport with the client, we skipped straight to the norming phase. Consider it the awkward first date moment that unexpectedly breaks the ice… just with slightly more risk.